CURIOSITY AND THE KITTYIIn every intro psych class I ever took, we learned about the bystander effect - AKA Genovese Syndrome, named for Kitty Genovese, who was brutally murdered in Queens in 1964.The story goes that Kitty, arriving home from work around 3am, was attacked on her doorstep. Neighbors heard her screams, but mostly disregarded them, assuming that someone else would answer. Her attacker was driven off by Kitty’s ferocity, but she was injured and unable to get inside. When he realized help wasn’t coming, he returned and killed her.It’s a tragic, terrible story no matter how you look at it. Oddly enough, however, it was never mentioned in any of my classes that Kitty was a lesbian, and that she lived with her partner. Did her neighbors know? Did it influence their decisions to do - or not do - anything when they heard her scream?A part of me says “no, of course not - who would sit idle and let someone be brutally murdered in hearing distance?” But another part of me wonders about the role homophobia might have played in this case.Whether or not it did, this is one of the legacies of homophobia: a constant wondering if something is a terrible accident, or a targeted attack. It’s one of the many psychological aspects of being queer that I think can be hard for straight people to wrap their heads around.— Hugh
[trigger warning: child sexual abuse]
I really like the perks of being a wallflower but today I realized—
a significant part of its success is because it is ugly, but not too ugly about child sexual abuse.
like I understand that a large chunk of the csa storyline is rarely said directly, only implied, so that the reader can connect the dots at the big reveal at the end.
but this literary decision also has the effect of giving us basically nothing about how completely terrible Charlie’s experience was.
we are given this message that Charlie has fond feelings for his abuser, not conflicted or even some reasonable semblance of anger.
Charlie is this polite, docile survivor who has crises but never acts out too much. he is never too loud or too angry or too bitter. someow he maintains this perfect, unblemished idealism even as he starts to figure out how fucked up things really were.
we get this nice, full circle story that resolves itself and makes the reader believe that Charlie is going to be okay, precisely marketed so as to not offend a broad audience with how ugly and disgusting and terrible child sexual abuse actually is. instead, this hipster kid “coming-of-age” oh-look-i-made-a-cd-with-the-smiths-on-it bullshit overshadows everything.
and indeed, growing up, basically all the kids my age who read this book never once mentioned child sexual abuse or rape. this book let privileged white kids feel “less alone” but it didn’t make anyone angry and make them want to change things for the better. it’s an apolitical text that gives people warm fuzzies with a child sexual abuse plot point as a tacked on afterthought for better marketing.
no seriously I can’t believe I didn’t realize this until now.
fuck this book and the pretending bullshit it is. it meant a lot to me as a kid. it did. it helped me feel less alone. but it offered very little guidance. it barely even tells the reader that what happened is not okay. in fact, it even normalizes it a little and casts it in this nostalgic, rose-colored haze. that alone is fucking dangerous and unacceptable.
you might say it’s only one book but do you know how many realistic, insightful, and well-written texts there are about child sexual abuse? barely a handful. out of the sea of books I read as a kid, only one book of 100000 others ever tackled this topic— Speak. one single book.
so when another single book becomes elevated in the way this one has, and its message is half-assed and possibly dismissive…that is not okay. that is the mass market yet again deciding that the concerns of survivors matter less than everyone else. that is our very ugly and horrible experiences being compressed and sanitized so that people can read about what happened to us and even enjoy it vicariously in a fucked up voyeuristic way.
I mean I am talking about things so horrible that when non-survivors hear about them they fuckin puke up their guts. but I’m not even asking for a book to delve into that darkest of darkness. I’m just asking for a book that doesn’t happily tie together the story as if everything is going to be okay, because it rarely is.
I’m asking for a book that is about child sexual abuse that is written for survivors, not written with us as a tertiary concern. because if I’d had a book like Bastard Out of Carolina when I was twelve then maybe it wouldn’t have taken me five more years before I could even name my experience as child sexual abuse. yes, it took me that long because there is such an immense absence of this type of content available for people that you pretty much have to get lucky. this book could have been one desperately needed text to fill a little place in that void, but instead it became just another book written for everyone except people like me.
fuck this. this book is bullshit.
Someone on my dash posted about how they hated this book and it was horrible for them. So I thought about it and I realized yes, it is pretty fuckin awful.
I really can’t believe I didn’t get this until now. But it makes sense— I was so lost and so desperate for something, anything, that even the little crumbs this book tossed me gave me reason to lift it up on a pedestal.
I am pretty much done with this planet.
What theeeeeeee fuck?!
Okay, but if I cut their dick off afterwards, that is a felony??? BRUH.
*wordlessly picks up scimitar and strides out the door*
good thing I drew Blizzaga today, it’s gonna come in handy
Ira Gray is now using the name Ira Sanchez on the social networking sites he uses. Apparently he is also moderating Queer Dictionary.
For those of you who didn’t know, Ira Sanchez has raped multiple people in the queer community. He has denied this, using pity play and other forms of emotional abuse in an attempt to delegitimise the experiences of the people he violated and keep his social status intact. He has continued to be an active and dominating presence in queer spaces in spite of calls for him to step down. He is beyond vile.
Reposting for relevance and also because since I changed my URL appaz there’ve been problems circulating the original. Also the original blog used the word ‘allegations’ which I don’t even know what I was thinking, that was a ridiculous word to use, I’m sorry!
I didn’t know about this until a few minutes ago, so you all may already know, but I thought I’d reblog to remind myself and notify others who may not be aware.
Beretta James, Dex Hardlove and Delvin Deluge part one is now up on FTMFUCKER.com!
“Kissing makes everything better” Dex Hardlove taunts after tattooed hottie Delvin Deluge and Dex throw an unsuspecting Beretta James into the back their truck and drag her into a dirty abandoned basement. Delvin and Dex strip her of her clothes, face fuck her with their hard cocks, and make her into their personal fuck toy. Things get interesting when Dex notices Delvin’s wet hungry hole, and gives his boy what he deserves, more fucking and orgasms!
This ftm on ftm on femme scene features Dex Hardlove’s first scene with a girl and Delvin Deluge’s first porn scene ever as well as Beretta James first scene with trans men! It’s filthy, hardcore and hot, if you’re not already a member, this is a scene you can’t afford to miss!
TRIGGER WARNING: This scene is a consensual pre negotiated hardcore fantasy featuring misogynist language, abduction, rough sex and BDSM themes. Enjoy!
i’m an avid fan of porn…but this is quite disturbing…for the mere fact that these dudes cannot feel anything.
This is so troubling there aren’t even words to describe…
Acting out a rape scene, kidnapped a random person off…
Video removed because I don’t want that disgusting video on my blog. This is fucking horrific. Who thought this would be a good idea? I hope ftmfuckers gets the fucking backlash of the century over this shitshow.
PS This makes me think of Kael T Block, who actually is a rapist and a “porn star”
I am a multiple rape and molestation survivor, and can even publicly attest to have had a forced sexual interaction with Kael T Block himself.
I am also a sex-positive person who has performed in concentual rape-play scenes both on and off camera with co-workers, sex partners, and lovers.
THERE IS A MAJOR, MAJOR DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CONCENTUAL RAPE PLAY AND REAL RAPE.
And you, a random person on Tumblr, has come forth to try and claim that this video is ”like Kael T Block.”
WELL, IT’S NOT.
There IS a trigger warning for this trailer. There is a statement of consent for this trailer. The scene, shot and directed by James Darling, was CREATED BY THE PERFORMERS THEMSELVES. Beretta, Dex, and Delvin as a group came up with this concept.
YES, THERE ARE REALLY PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO WANT TO LIVE OUT A KIDNAPPING AND RAPE FANTASY IN THE SAFETY OF FRIENDS, LOVERS, AND ARTISTIC COLLABORATORS. These performers were paid actors given a chance to come up with their own ideas for a porn scene, and this is what they WANTED. They designed the script. They gave consent. They had safe words, dental dams and condoms, lube, lighting, a set, after-care, open communication,and ethical porn-making practices.
They are not “sick.” It is NOT “horrific.” It’s not “disturbing” or “disgusting.” IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, THAT’S TOTALLY OKAY. But sex positivity means that you don’t “YUCK PEOPLE’S YUM,” and you CERTAINLY don’t call them disgusting and compare them to real life rapists, when they actually created a very safe space for this kind of play - which is actually a very common practice within the BDSM community, of which these 3 performers all participate in.
To compare this completely safe, sane, cathartic experience, A VALID, ethical, and feminist form of pornography, to an actual misogynist rapist is incredibly triggering and heartbreaking to someone like me, who has been on both sides of the story, including having been abused by the same person you are comparing one of my personal favorite porn scenes to.
To me, this scene, and consentual rape play in general, is something that heals, something that makes me feel my own emotions, something that helps me cope with my own history of abuse, and something that turns me on - knowing that Berratta and the two men in this scene were SAFELY exploring a very real, very scary fantasy.
Rape is certainly real and not to be joked about or made fun of - but consentual non-consent is not humor, or a joke to be taken lightly - it’s an intense form of sex that real people participate in and deserves to have a place at the table in indie, ethical, feminist, and queer, and any intersection, pornography.
A survivor, and whole-hearted supporter of consentual non-consent.
p.s. In the spirit of sex-positivity and education, here is some Safe-For-Work information from Wikipedia on the basics of rape play:
reblogging for commentary by courtney trouble. you gooooooooo!
fantasies like these performed in an intentional context with negotiation, trust, care, and love have been a huge part of my healing as a survivor
a poem for Michael Brutsch
a photo which, when masturbated to, makes a man’s dick fall off
a photo which, when looked at, makes a man’s dick fall off
a body which, when looked at, makes a man’s dick fall off
a photo which explodes like a grenade
a body which explodes like a grenade
any manner of weaponized bodies, both self-destructing and self-preservative, like a body like a poison garment (shirt of nessus), like a body like a horse full of soldiers, like a body like a collapsing ship (nero)
a body like a land-mine which requires only a little treading-on to trigger
a girl or a woman like a land-mine who requires only a little treading-on to trigger
a girl or a woman who requires only a little photographing to trigger
a photo which, when when masturbated to, will make a man go blind
a photo which, when masturbated to, will both make a man go blind and put in the place of his sight a grim and hellish inner vision
a photo which when circulated on the internet has some code in it, and the code is of the nature “whoever circulates this image will now be cursed like Job”
a series of techno-temporal-biological viruses which open the guts of these men so that the warmth of some human viscera can serve as incubation space for some now-still-embryonic future in which girls and women exist fully and freely with their bodies
a series of techno-temporal-biological viruses which give us time and love and friends enough to work on this future/ work these problems out
a series of viruses which create any productive use for the viscera of these men including more minor ones, like growing oranges
a computer screen filter which filters arousal, replacing it with one of the following feelings: fear, shame, confusion, regret, diminishment, dysphoria
a computer screen filter which filters arousal, leaving — upon looking at the internet — only the impulse to vacuum the floor
Christopher Columbus, in his own journal, proudly describing his rape (One of many) of a Congo Woman (via racismschool)
We celebrate this shitty excuse for a human because?
I tried to source this, and only Tumblr pages reblogging this post come up.
So yeah, 
I don’t have the book anymore. I took this quote directly from it. However, you seem to have some trouble believing it as truth. Allow me to give you some things you can check out, for yourself, online.
With all the information that ISN’T hidden about the vile creature that was Christopher Columbus, we still have nay sayers and those who doubt that this man was anything but great.
HERE BE YOUR SOURCE
COLUMBUS WAS A GODDAMN GENOCIDAL RAPIST.
I HOPE HE BURNS IN HELL FOR THE DAMAGE HE WROUGHT AGAINST THE PEOPLE HE ‘WROTE’ ABOUT
hey actually reblogging this to correct something
COLUMBUS DID NOT WRITE THIS. his friend, who was on the same voyage as him, wrote it. columbus was the guy who gave him the ‘woman, tho, so that’s still relevant.
The same childhood friend reported in a letter that Columbus had provided one of the captured indigenous women to him. He wrote, “While I was in the boat, I captured a very beautiful Carib woman, whom the said Lord Admiral gave to me. When I had taken her to my cabin she was naked - as was their custom. I was filled with a desire to take my pleasure with her and attempted to satisfy my desire. She was unwilling, and so treated me with her nails that I wished I had never begun. But - to cut a long story short - I then took a piece of rope and whipped her soundly, and she let forth such incredible screams that you would not have believed your ears. Eventually we came to such terms, I assure you, that you would have thought that she had been brought up in a school for whores.”  This letter has been interpreted by some as providing evidence that Columbus knowingly aided the rape of captured indigenous people.
things we have in the oakland student affairs office at cca that folks should know about:
- free tampons
- free ibuprofen
- free stress balls (eh)
I used to work for this old woman who had two husbands and one lived down the street and the other one had his own room and they were the cutest...
SICK OF BEING TROLLED BY THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE SPIDER. I AM NOT “SOME PIG” I AM A HUMAN BEING
another genre of love song I am officially tired of
I AM COMPLETELY NONFUNCTIONAL IN THE ABSENCE OF MY SIGNIFICANT OTTER I NEED HER TO FEEL...
oh jsyk definitely maybe still most comfortable with they/them/their pronouns so
yeah do that
Yesterday my parents and I stopped into a little cafe on the UES, and we hadn’t been seated but a minute before this family of wealthy European...