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THIS BLOG IS A POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING SPACE.
Trigger warning policy!

Home! How lucky to
have one, how arduous
to make this scene
of beauty for
your family and
friends. Friends!
How we must have
sounded, gossiping at
the dinner table
last night. Why, that
dinner table is
this breakfast table:
“The boy in trousers
is not the same boy
in no trousers,” who
said? Discontinuity
in all we see and are:
the same, yet change,
change, change. “Inez,
it’s good to see you.”

- James Schuyler, from "June 30th, 1974" Talk to me on the internet!

July 2, 2012

HEY QUEERS

Anderson Cooper didn’t just come out

I realize that now you know that he’s gay, and now most people know

but when you came out, did you make an announcement to the press? did you hold a conference or write a letter for publication?

no!

you told your family and friends and the other people in your life, and then you were “out”

Cooper has been out for years—his family knew, his friends knew, everyone important to him knew

to me that’s what constitutes being “out” and I’m so sick of people saying that queer people who become well-known have to alert the fucking media or it means we’re closeted

here, listen to what he said:

It’s become clear to me that by remaining silent on certain aspects of my personal life for so long, I have given some the mistaken impression that I am trying to hide something - something that makes me uncomfortable, ashamed or even afraid. This is distressing because it is simply not true.

being “in the closet” implies a degree of shame and discomfort with self

not wanting everyone and their mom and their favorite tabloid to know that you’re queer isn’t shame—it’s one part typical privacy and one part self-preservation

this paradigm of “you need to come out publicly, a la the Puppy Episode, or it doesn’t count” really bothers me

in part because people frequently use it to erase my experience by saying that I “came out” when I was eighteen, which is in fact when I was outed—I came out much earlier than that

you don’t actually get to know Anderson Cooper’s coming out story, because he isn’t telling you about the first time he told someone close to him that he was queer, because he doesn’t want to

he has spent years of his life as an out gay man and just because you didn’t know about those years doesn’t mean they don’t count

to me this idea feels incredibly—self-centered? “oh, because we didn’t know he was gay, he doesn’t count as out!”

has it occurred to anyone that constructing the closet in this way is incredibly harmful?

“you have to tell everyone you’re queer,everyone, it is required for you to be ‘really genuinely open with yourself’—as a matter of fact, why don’t you wear this special uniform—yeah, all gay people have to now, we did it so you could live more honestly”

go to hell

3:05pm | URL: http://tmblr.co/ZAAEXwOZIAvZ

(Notes: 239)